Suicide Script

An air of melancholy surrounded me after she left the place. She broke her promise of not leaving my hand that day. She dropped the sapphire ring which I gifted her on her birthday. The ring had her name engraved on it. She didn't turn back even once. I couldn't feel myself for a minute it seemed like the whole place turned black and every part of my body was filled with pain. I faced rejection everywhere, I couldn't control myself anymore. I lost my dream job on the same day. People in my life call me a misfit for everything. I just began to realize that is true on that day. Tears rolled down my cheek but I controlled myself. I walked to a nearby bar out of hopelessness, while I was walking to the bar there was a voice which echoed in my ears asking me "What am I?" I walked into the bar and sat alone in a corner. After some time a middle-aged man came to my table and sits on the other side. There was very low light in the bar so I was not able to see him properly. Initially, I was a bit hesitant to talk but he started talking to me after some time. I started sharing my miserable story with him and I told him that I decided to commit suicide because I had no hope of living. I expected him to motivate me and tell me not to suicide instead he laughed loudly and he said" Die! But do something big before you die." He said that and walked away from that place before he went out he turned back and said:" Don't die like a loser!" His words left me confused. I walked home and went to my room. I just saw an article lying on my table titled "The last big thing". That article drew my attention and I got fully immersed in it. The article was about a dangerous trek on a mountain range in Uttarakhand also called as The Roop Kund trek which leads to a mysterious lake which was seen by very fewer people on the planet. I wanted to go on that trek. I became determined and I made all the arrangements. 

                                                             My alarm clock rang at 6 am. I was preparing for my journey to the start point of the trek. It felt like it was the last time I am seeing my house, I could hear my heartbeat so clearly. I was about to leave the house when my mother asked me to have breakfast and go, I just went close to her and hugged her tightly and I said: “Bye!". I rushed from my house and started my journey to the start point. I arrived at the start point of the trek, there was one more person along with me who was at the start point. Surprisingly I was not feeling scared before the start of the trek. I started my trek with a stranger from Lohajung. It was freezing as I was ascending the mountain range. I wasn't interacting much with the other guy who was trekking with me. But slowly we began to talk as we were trekking. He also had a passion for trekking and mountaineering. Unlike me, he had not come there for dying. There was a war happening within me between winning and dying. I didn't want to live to see my miserable life. The trek was proving to be very dangerous as we were ascending the height. I was not giving up while I was trekking, there was a change in temperature and there were hail storms on that range but still I didn't quit. I couldn't feel my legs at a point of time. I remembered the old man's words and I didn't stop my journey. I was remembering her every moment when I was walking, I couldn't forget her as easily as she did. The other person was helping me as I was losing my nerve. As we proceeded to the last phase of the trek he slipped off the mountain range and he caught my hand tight. I became desperate and was trying to save him and at last, I could save him. He was unconscious for a moment. After he woke up he hugged me tightly and said: “Whatever you have done is priceless". That moment I felt that even I could be a change in someone's life. His eyes started looking at me differently. We both resumed our trek and were in the most dangerous phase of our trek. It was snowing very badly on that day. My health was worsening because of that bad weather change. He was helping me as I was trying hard to go further. 

As I ascended the mountain range the sight of the most mysterious lake struck my eyes, which made me realize that I was 16000 ft above the sea level,that means that I was one of the rare people who completed the trek. It was -10 degrees and was freezing. I observed the rising sun and the first sun rays touched my skin. I didn't understand what had I done for a moment. I fell on my feet and tears rolled down, this time, I couldn't control myself. My last trip taught me that I am still alive. I remembered that man's words and I understood the reason why did he say them. I realized that I was not a loser. I got up and I walked a bit forward from where the complete city was visible. I took out the sapphire ring from the pocket and I threw it. My decision to suicide appeared so small in front of the happiness which I have got that day. There were voices echoing in my ears saying “This is it!".  It felt like I am in a boundless space with infinite possibilities. My courage to die led me to the reason to live."           

After I completed narrating my story, many people were in tears in that hall. One of them got up and asked “Who was that man in the bar who led you from a depressed and failure person to a happy and successful man" I smiled and answered,” He is my father!"

I and Me

It was on a foggy night and I was not feeling sleepy that night. I wanted to have some coffee. So I went to the kitchen and started boiling milk. Then I received a message. It was her and she wanted to meet me at the coffee shop. I stopped boiling the milk and put on my brown leather jacket and started walking. The coffee shop was far away. I thought I would walk for some distance and then get into a bus. I was walking all alone on the road on that foggy night. The way to the coffee shop is a very lonely path. I was the only person walking on that lonely road.

I lowered my head as I walked forward and I observed a shadow of mine. The shadow was dark and it was just like me. As I was walking I observed another shadow, a faded one but was so much like me. As I looked at the faded shadow I remembered that moment when I wanted to say that she is the most important person for me in this world. I always wanted to admit the truth that she has an angelic face but I never did. I always wanted to say that I loved writing poetry because she loved reading it instead I joked that I was inspired from William Shakespeare. I wanted to express the fact that she is much more than a friend to me but I never dared to. I wanted to hug her when I met her after a long time but I didn't. I wanted to go on late night walks with you but I went alone all the time.  I wanted to say you that I cried a lot when she loved someone else but the other shadow of mine said that I was so happy for you both. I wanted to take her on a boat ride and shout loudly in the middle of the sea that I loved her very much but I was covered by my shadow. I could never admit to her that she is the most special person in my life.

 I could sense some heat in my body and I stopped walking for a minute. I was tired, not because of walking for so long, I was tired because of the mask which I had been wearing when I am with her.

I felt disappointed seeing the faded shadow of mine covered by the dark shadow. Then I realized that I have walked till the coffee shop. I could see her waiting outside the coffee shop, she smiled after she has seen me walking towards the coffee shop. I walked towards the coffee shop. As I was walking I could observe only one shadow of mine.....

Unforgettable day

It is 6 am in the morning and I am sitting in the coffee shop waiting for her to come. We both come to the coffee shop in the mornings before we leave for our work. She has come to the coffee shop at 10 minutes past six. She hurries and looks preoccupied. She has started working overtime and it shows on her face. The youthful charm that brightened her face each morning was lost to the heavy hours of work. I could tell by her sagging eyes that she had not slept for a fortnight now. She orders a black coffee unlike any other day. Before I could start speaking she said, " Life isn't the way I wanted it to be. The piles of work have drowned my happiness. I am sorry I have lately not even talked to you properly." Her phone begins to ring and she leaves immediately without saying a goodbye.
She leaves behind one photograph which dropped out of her bag as she hurried. I keep staring at that photograph for a while. I realize that it is the photograph that I clicked around 3 years ago. It was a beautiful day and we had decided to go out on our third date. She in her blue dress looked exceptional. She was smiling as the wind blew her hair. I could hardly believe that I am with the same person. I could only see her sad and dull life when I look at the photograph.I wanted to have my smart and cheerful girl back.
                                        I got up before my alarm. I picked her up in my car and we started around 3 am. The meeting was in a far away city. She kept quiet all through the way. I tilted the mirror to look at her face. She seemed to be lost in some thought. I start thinking about the good times, the times when each wind that blew excited her. I start to miss her even when she is right beside me.I now realize that I have drifted from the route.I look around for sign boards or milestones. But we had entered a forest area. She started to get anxious. She is worried about her meeting. I try and console her. But the car breaks down. I tried to fix the car. After a failed attempt I suggest we walk till we find a village. She hesitated a little, but eventually, she agreed. The place is very calm and peaceful. I couldn't stop myself from admiring the beautiful nature but she is still thinking about the meeting. It's five in the morning. The meeting is supposed to start at seven and we are still two hours away. She is constantly checking her phone for network,  but there isn't any. It is a lonely road not too dark not too bright,the sun just started to rise. I took her hand and started to run on the road. She asked me where am I taking her. I didn't answer her and I  have taken her to the peak point from where we could clearly see the first red rays of the sun. She used to love to see the rising sun. I could see that beautiful curve on her face as the suns rays softly touch it. She completely forgets about her work and starts to enjoy the moment. As we were walking through the woods we hear the splashing of water It sounds like there is a waterfall nearby. We start to walk in the direction of the waterfall. The waterfall is Atlantis blue and it was swishing over the rocks joyfully. She loved that place and shouted loud with happiness such that her beautiful voice echoed all over the place. It is indeed a magical moment. I have never seen her so happy since I met her. We began to walk from that place and she started to talk animatedly. She started sharing many things which she has not shared since long time. She did not leave my hand as we were walking. I could see the same girl which I had seen in the photograph. I could see the same cheerful and smart girl. We reached the car. She told that the best thing that happened today is that the car broke down and she chuckled. She just got into the car and was trying to start the car and the car started in the first attempt. She looked at me and asked whether the car really break down? I said "No!". She got astonished by my reply. She didn't talk to me for a while. I tried to talk to her during the night after I reached home but she did not answer my calls.
                        Next day I was sitting in the coffee shop alone.The waiter gave me a small note along with the cappuccino. The note said " Thank you :)". I just looked back, it is her smiling like the girl smiled in the photograph.......

The unforgettable day in her life.....

Prayer

The water in the lake used to be blue in colour when I used to come to the lakeside with her. The lake always gave me a sense of peace and joy. But now I see the water has turned brown in colour full of dust and dirt. My thoughts are automatically redirected to her because of all the memories we made right here.  I was standing all alone on a friday evening tired of my work. My driver, wanting to go home himself, started honking, indicating me to sit in the car again. I sat back in my black coloured Jaguar. We arrived at the main road. It was a busy evening, I was getting calls every minute, making me increasingly irritated and frustrated. I received a call, an important one, which made my busy evening take a horrific turn. I rushed to the hospital after I answered the call.
                               An old doctor walked to me and explained to me about the complete accident. It was her in the ICU. I sat down in the lobby. There was a god's idol in a corner. A little girl was praying, probably for her father's life. It was her who had belief in god. I never had belief on god.After the miserable incident of my friend's death I lost belief in god. I never went to temples.
But that day I began to stare at the idol and began to express my thoughts."She was the one who loved me better than anyone could. Her smile is the most elegant smile I have ever seen. Her smile could even heal the deepest sorrow in my life. She knows me better than I know myself. Those long walks with her in the park, those late night talks were the most memorable moments in my life. She has a very beautiful world full of love and full of happiness. She promised me that she would never leave my hand. But I broke the promise. The passion towards earning money made me lose her. I never wanted to lose her but I ignored her , shouted at her, got angry with her. I couldn't even spare time to go for a walk with her. She never complained, instead she walked alone on the lakeside. She didn't disturb me after some days. I was so occupied that I couldn't even realize this. Processionally, I became very successful. Little did I know success doesn't guarantee happiness. That moment when she needed me I was not there for her. This moment when I realized that life would be impossible without her, I don't know whether she would be there for me or not. All these days I just survived I never lived. There was no love in my life all these days." I heard my phone ringing, I just dropped it and  went near the idol and prayed to god for the first time in my life for her.I prayed with everything I had. After some time the same old doctor came out of the ICU and was walking towards me. As he was approaching me my heart beat was going up, he slowly removed his surgical mask and said "The patient is ......................."


I won't tell you because I don't want to change your opinion about god.

Love letter

There are special people in everyone's lives. This letter is dedicated to one of the most special person in my life.

Every human has this special person in their life.This special person has a name called FATHER.
 A person cannot be called a father if he has a child. Father is a combination of emotions. He is a responsibility. He is beautiful story to admire.

Dear daddy,

You never knew that I would be your son . Even I never knew that you will be my father.We didn't choose each other. We are destined to be father and son.
         
                                                      You are a silent lover in my life. The person who loves me more than anyone but is less expressive.You are the one who accepts me as I am. You get angry on my imperfections . You scold me knowing that I would be angry with you after you scold me.Even if people are against you when you are angry with me, you know that it is not anger It is the care and love which you show for me. You go to any extent when it comes about your son. You expect me to be the most perfect person. You are the constant support for me in my life. I understood how to be selfless from you. Even if I get irritated with you, Even if  I hate you , you know only one thing daddy that is loving me back. You are someone who comes near my bed in the midnight after your busy day and kisses me on my forehead. You think about me more than I think about myself. You forgive my biggest mistakes with a graceful smile. You are my most loving friend, A real hero of my life. God has not gifted me with a golden spoon but he gifted me with the most loving person in my life. In this whole world you are the most Honest lover.
                                                         
                                                             I have a dream of taking you on a bike ride on a road which never ends... You are a priceless gift whom I can never stop admiring, whom I can never stop loving.


From the bottom of my Heart: Love you Daddy!!
                                                                       
                                                                                                   with Love,
                                                                                                Your loving Son.

The Story of his Life

I am preparing my mind for the biggest challenge in my life. My teammates are checking whether I have put on my safety belts and the oxygen tank in the right positions or not. My eyes drifted towards my right, where he sat, a few feet away and I caught a glimpse of "My best friend until yesterday". Since that incident we were not even exchanging words. I am very upset with him. Ours would be the two teams who would be climbing the mountain, competing with each other. I gave him an angry look but there was a smile on his face. The mountain is very high almost 1300 feet tall. I wanted to win over him in this contest. As I am climbing the mountain, the scene when we both first met struck my imagination. 

I was sent out of the classroom due to mischief  and as I stepped out of the classroom I saw this guy  5 foot tall, with a hair band on and a blue chalk in his hand with which he was using to sketch on the wall. I was curious about what was he sketching as I went near him and observed he was sketching the teacher with a devil face and a cane in her hand. I looked at him and smiled he also gave me a smile.We both shook hands as we both hated that teacher. This is how our journey began.

 As I was climbing up I remembered how we grew up and how our friendship became stronger by days. We were the two best dancers and pranksters of the college. He not only taught me the steps in the  hip hop  but also those in my life. I was gasping as I am ascending the mountain. I put  my mask on as I was running out of oxygen. I am climbing the mountain without any fear and hesitation as I am determined to win this contest. 

He was there for me all the time in the best moments and also the heart breaking moments. He knew everything about me my interests, my girl friends, my personal diary. He never left me alone. But after that incident first time in my life I felt lonely and lost. I just felt that I don't need him at all and I believed that I can run with my own legs.

I stopped climbing and I am wondering whether any of my teammates are around me. But I couldn't  find anyone. I suddenly saw my hand losing contact with the rock. I needed help otherwise I would die. Then I saw an other hand, a very familiar one and a saving one. It was my best friend, to my surprise he was above me. The person whom I didn't want after yesterday had come to my rescue when there was no one to rescue me. He was in tears and hugged me tightly and slapped on my face. I understood the inner meaning of friendship that day. Since then I never parted away from him. 

A Loud cry woke me up from my dream. I was involved in a deep thinking. I could see my friend's hand still without any movement. He is lying down and is not talking to me. He is sleeping and dreaming. A dream which would never end and he is sleeping forever. I am looking at his face probably for the last time but still I could not cry because there is no life left in me......

He parted away...